[ There is a certain attitude among kindred spirits. A grief that hangs heavy in the air, that makes you know without knowing, hear without saying, that you have occupied the same space in the universe as someone. Carol feels it every time she looks at Kylo Ren. She cannot put her finger on it until she sees him fight.
He was a weapon too. Someone else had owned him once, and now he is unchained. He burns like only someone who's been shackled can burn.
Later, after the fight, they are at a sports bar. One that Morningstar agents often frequent, one that has no real name. It's just a place people go. She's drinking whiskey, sitting across from him, and she asks what she knows she should never, ever ask: ]
( it's difficult to say what startles him more: the fact that she knowsㅡbecause he likes to pretend that he can be careful when he chooses, that he hides the scars that cut too deep to ever truly healㅡor that she can know and still ask.
his gaze shifts from her face to the glass in his hand, still half full, and he considers downing the whole thing rather than answering. swallows. ) A teacher.
[ It hits her sideways to hear him say it. Maybe it's always a teacher. Or maybe they just always present themselves that way. She shifts her gaze around, a little uncomfortable with confronting that. She doesn't like thinking of Yon-Rogg. She hasn't had to in some time. ]
Did you kill him?
[ She hadn't. Maybe she should have, but dishonor is worse than death for Kree, and she feels a little more content knowing that she had ruined him instead, made him live with that. ]
( like it was simple. like he hadn't spent the duration of that elevator ride, thoughts skittering; panicked and furious and every inch his father's son.
he tips back the glass, savours the burning slide, before adding, somewhat resigned: ) He didn't leave me much of a choice.
[ Yon-Rogg had tried not to give her a choice either. She wonders if she would have said the same thing if she'd given in and done it, trying to prove herself to him. ]
There was ㅡ ( he has to pause, casting around for the right word for how he had felt, ) relief.
( a sense of finality, as well; there would be no coming back from this, and perhaps that wasn't the worst thing, but finding himself suddenly free of the leash had been frightening as much as liberating. )
I thought they were teaching me to control my power. But they were limiting it.
[ She looks at her fist, turning it over. That power is gone now. Replaced with something else. Still, she can feel it latent, running through her. Pieces of it remain because that energy had become part of her. But only pieces. ]
They tried to turn me into their weapon. [ She sets her fist back on the table and throws the rest of her whiskey back, drawing a deep breath. ] I know what it feels like.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
i have literally no idea what this even is, but.
Date: 2019-03-18 03:55 pm (UTC)ML AU? ML AU.
Date: 2019-04-07 10:45 pm (UTC)He was a weapon too. Someone else had owned him once, and now he is unchained. He burns like only someone who's been shackled can burn.
Later, after the fight, they are at a sports bar. One that Morningstar agents often frequent, one that has no real name. It's just a place people go. She's drinking whiskey, sitting across from him, and she asks what she knows she should never, ever ask: ]
Who were they?
ML AU it is.
Date: 2019-04-07 11:09 pm (UTC)his gaze shifts from her face to the glass in his hand, still half full, and he considers downing the whole thing rather than answering. swallows. ) A teacher.
( true in both cases. ) He's gone now.
no subject
Date: 2019-04-07 11:13 pm (UTC)Did you kill him?
[ She hadn't. Maybe she should have, but dishonor is worse than death for Kree, and she feels a little more content knowing that she had ruined him instead, made him live with that. ]
no subject
Date: 2019-04-07 11:22 pm (UTC)( like it was simple. like he hadn't spent the duration of that elevator ride, thoughts skittering; panicked and furious and every inch his father's son.
he tips back the glass, savours the burning slide, before adding, somewhat resigned: ) He didn't leave me much of a choice.
no subject
Date: 2019-04-07 11:24 pm (UTC)Glad you did it?
no subject
Date: 2019-04-08 11:30 am (UTC)( a sense of finality, as well; there would be no coming back from this, and perhaps that wasn't the worst thing, but finding himself suddenly free of the leash had been frightening as much as liberating. )
Freedom is not something I'm accustomed to.
no subject
Date: 2019-04-09 04:10 am (UTC)[ She looks at her fist, turning it over. That power is gone now. Replaced with something else. Still, she can feel it latent, running through her. Pieces of it remain because that energy had become part of her. But only pieces. ]
They tried to turn me into their weapon. [ She sets her fist back on the table and throws the rest of her whiskey back, drawing a deep breath. ] I know what it feels like.